And it has dropped.

My brain is spaced right now and I can't quite handle what's going on inside of it and I'm just confused and I hate this feeling. I hate this paralysis that comes of not knowing what to say/do/be. I hate not knowing what's going on, where it went wrong and what can I do?

Things are not about me. I know that and I'm actually comforted by it. But what am I suppose to do...wah - wah - wah.

I feel this will be artificial and I feel this will be hideous. I feel no one wants that and who would ever do that?

It makes no sense. And I just want to make things right again. And there's no such thing as right or right away, but there is right now. And that's trite and doesn't help and stop this train of thought, it's going nowhere and it's going there very, very slowly.

I have to get out of my head and I don't know where to go from there and will I be stranded, shivering, outside of my head, no better off than before?